July 2021

I'm not (too) cheerful this month (I wrote this over a couple of days. I'm feeling a little better today). I have reached a limit with all of the distractions and my inability to write or do anything well anymore. There is too much unsatisfying repetitive work and deference to the needs of others without any reward, or the prospect of one, to aim for. I know that is much of what life is and always has been for most people, but lately I am faltering. I just wish I could think and socialize with people who somewhat share my interests like I used to. My mind is just not well-ordered and has no flow or consistent tendency that is even remotely attractive right now. I have never felt the whole tenor of the world to be moving away from me as much as it is now, and it is disconcerting. But on to the update.

A List: St. Augustine--City of God......................................................................372/867

B List: Mann--Buddenbrooks..............................................................................506/748

C List: L'Engle--A Moment of Tenderness..........................................................138/285

The same three books as last month. The City of God is going to be a slog, as I knew. I don't mind reading a little each day (it's my at work book), as I have some affection for the Great Books of Theology, and would hope that I have gotten something from them over the years. It is not really a page turner though. 

I continue to be impressed with the L'Engle when I get a chance to read it. Because it is summer everyone is at home, and even though officially we are not on a schedule and I can do whatever I want, in practical terms this is not the case. So I'm not able to read as much. I am wondering whether I couldn't start reading at night again. Last year I was recovering from a couple of illnesses and was pretty tired out by evening, but I seem to be getting a little more robust again. I do need to find a good place to read at night, as the well-lit bathroom with the fan that I used to hide out in has been knocked down in my wife's indefatigable restoration of the house to its original state. I understand that it had to go, even though it was a great place to read and its disappearance has thrown me off my routine and probably contribution to my overall disorientation. But I'll have to try and create a substitute environment for myself that is somewhat similar.

Oh yes, and back to L'Engle. I do like all of these little stories. They are mostly about young people and many of them are set in the world of the theater, auditions and so on, but the flavor of New York and the greater New York world in the 40s and 50s always appeals to me, I can read well-written stories about it all day. It was a gift to writers. 

I had a dream that I was going on a trip somewhere, but instead of driving I was pushing a shopping cart with a small number of possessions, my phone, my wallet, my bag of medicines, my copy of Buddenbrooks, and a couple of articles of clothing. After pushing the cart through a tollbooth at the side of a highway that resembled I-95--I looked most like Maryland to me--a couple of men came up and began accosting me and trying to take things from the cart. I did take turns for several minutes alternately throwing each of them to the ground but I couldn't take them both at once, and in the end they both ran off in opposite directions, one with all the medicine and the other with the copy of Buddenbrooks, leaving the wallet and phone, which would have been more inconvenient to lose and difficult to replace. Yet I was much more distraught at losing the other items, and when I tried to file a police report, my phone did not work at the toll area and kept rerouting me to them. I had the dream when I was at the height of my edginess this week, which lasted for a good four days. Perhaps it was the change in barometric pressure from all of the storms, which have now finally passed through.

So many pictures this month. They're all the same every month, more or less, but they are a record of the times. I held off on the baseball videos. There is still summer ball to go though. 

Back in Ogunquit once again.

Rail trail that runs behind the right field fence (not visible) at the aforementioned baseball field. This is right down the road from where I live, it really is beautiful country.

Fearless duck that was hanging out near me, Newfound Lake. 

Walking home from the pool on one of the 95 degree days we had recently.

Beach toys for sale at Wellington State Park (Newfound Lake).

Evening falls, Ogunquit Beach.

On July 3 we finally went down to Gloucester, Massachusetts, which was one nearby place we had never made it to yet. After having been in the 90s most of the previous week, it was in the 50s and pouring rain the entire holiday weekend. This is at the aquarium section of the local maritime museum.

Gloucester, out in back of the museum. 

Upstairs in the museum part of the Gloucester museum.

This is at home. #6 is into puzzles now. 

The strand along the waterfront in Gloucester.

Drawbridge, in Gloucester. We did see the pretty famous monument of the fisherman but I didn't take a picture of it as it began to pour rain just as we got there. The railing there is lined with maybe 15 tablets listing all of the fishermen of the town who were lost at sea over the generations. Up until about 1928 the numbers were staggering, 50-100 men a year almost every year. It's gotten considerably better since then, though there was a famous disaster in 1991, which was the subject of the book The Perfect Storm. The most recent death inscribed on the memorial was in 2011.

4th of July, a brief moment between downpours. This was supposed to be the last picture. 

These last two are at the big lake, Winnipesaukee. My #2 son, remarked that all of the state parks in New Hampshire look exactly the same. There are similarities among some of the lake parks in their parking areas, layouts of the facilities and so on, but on the whole of course this is not true.